IRE
by YuNami XD
Summary: The madness that goes on when England, Russia, and Iceland hang out. Rated T for a movie reference.


At first it was Iceland's idea. He wanted England and Russia to spend the night at his house so that they would relax on his debt issues. So while he was at work said countries boarded two different planes and headed to the same destination and since they had no idea what to do with themselves individually they paired up and wondered around.

They started out just talking but then Russia was hungry and said that they should check out an Icelandic candy store. Neither of them really liked licorice but they did get a couple packages of gummy sharks and sour cherries. Then they walked around some more until Russia wanted something more substantial for food so they chose a restaurant and sat down to eat. Unfortunately this resulted in them being late causing Iceland to have a panic attack and all three countries bosses to worry as none of them could get a hold of the two.

"Where have you guys been! My boss has been breathing down my neck for the past hour threatening to throw me in a volcano if I didn't find you!"

"I apologize Iceland it's just that Russia got hungry so we went to get something to eat and then-"

"That doesn't matter now, we are going to your house to spend the night da? So let's go."

Both of the smaller nations tagged along wordlessly as they made their way to Iceland's car. Russia's eyes were clear and there was a suspicious _lack_ of smell coming from him. A particular smell. _Never mess with Russia when he isn't running on some type of alcohol._

The car ride was awkward but luckily Iceland's house wasn't too far from his capital. When they got out they looked around wondering what to do. Russia smiled looking at the tangled forest and open field behind Iceland's house.

"Have the two of you heard of that American game Call of Duty? How about we play it for real. Iceland, you and England can be one team and I'll be the other. If you lose you become one da? Odin, dva, tri..."

Needless to say the two took the remark to heart and raced off in the thickest patch of wood they could find. Since Iceland kept going and didn't look behind him he didn't notice England sneaking behind a tree and watching as Russia ran off after the youngest Nordic country, the noise he made giving away his location.

England smirked and walked back towards the house wanting to get a good look at the place he was staying at. However the puffing standing guard at the door and glaring at him changed his mind. He made it back just in time to see the Russian holding the ribbon on Iceland's neck both calling for him. When they spotted him they came walking over but England just smiled and dashed off. When he paused to look back he noticed Iceland had caught up with him.

"You aren't a very good ally."

"Well he wouldn't have found you if you hadn't had made so much noise."

"Never mind. Come on. I know the spot where you can get into the field. It will take ages for Russia to find it."

Iceland and England walked back to the front of the house and pulling back some weeds .There they found a spot where the ditch running along the side of the field had closed up. Both jumped over the thistles blocking the path and started walking casually confident that Russia wouldn't make it over. They talked about Iceland's upcoming trip to Ireland and what they could do tomorrow when they heard Russia call out to them.

"How did you guys get over there? Don't you want to play with Rossiya?"

"Just go past those weeds right there! You can catch up to us!"

They laughed as they saw Russia look distastefully at the thistles. When he lifted up his coat so it wouldn't get caught they ran off up the side of the road and circled back to the front door where they went inside to get a drink and came back out watching Russia make his way back.

"My, my, you took your time didn't you?"

"The drinks are just inside. We have to order dinner anyway. I don't have any food in my house at the moment."

Russia just nodded and pushed past them collapsing in the kitchen chair. England and Iceland decided on Chinese but when the food got there Russia was still too hot (Iceland wasn't as cold as Siberia) so Iceland just gave him a (spiked) popsicle. When he had cooled down a bit and everyone was full they went upstairs and played some video games before going back downstairs and watching a couple of movies. To end the day (back upstairs again) they played the random scenarios game and planned out what they would do in a zombie apocalypse. One by one they passed out.

* * *

><p>And woke up in Russia's house.<p>

Wait, what?

"Russia, why are we in your house?"

"Oh I thought you guys might like it better here. Now who wants to make breakfast?"

So the Russian dragged his two companions down to the kitchen and told them which ingredients to get out. Knowing he would have to include England at some point Russia gave him the harmless job of cracking eggs. Needless to say he messed that up too. The first egg was violently smashed against the side of the bowl, the second had bits of shell mixed in with the egg white, and the third was snatched from his hands before he could destroy their last hope of success. Handing the egg to Iceland who cracked it perfectly without blinking and was left to clean up the mess, Russia fished out a spoon that he handed to England with the simple instructions to stir.

A cloud of flour and splash of bailey's later they had a white cake sitting in the oven with England keeping the time. Sitting down in the living room they flipped channels until they came to a show called Wild Russia and said Russian grabbed the remote before Iceland could change it. The other two rolled their eyes but tolerated this until it changed to the part about animals at which point England loudly announced that the cake was ready.

As England took the cake out Russia got a knife and the frosting but was stopped by Iceland who said they should go back in the room to let it cool. Russia frowned and was about to argue when he suddenly smiled and agreed grabbing Iceland and England by the arm and dragging them into the game room. Then he pulled out a laptop and they all sat down on the floor on blankets as Russia popped a movie in.

England immediately became suspicious with the film as he watched a soldier drag a prisoner out into the snow and decapitate him with a katana. Then the it switched to a woman who was having her baby forcefully cut out of her prematurely and Iceland turned pale and looked away. England looked at Russia incredulously. Russia concentrated intensely and a glare formed on his face.

"It's called Philosophy of a Knife. It's about a human experimentation camp in WWII. I thought you guys should know about it."

Iceland crawled to a corner of the room and focused on the ceiling while England watched in horror the worst being when they placed sulfur on a young man's face and ignited it, his face melting in front of their eyes. It was a twisted reenactment and biased seeing as most of the prisoners were Russian and in reality more prisoners would have been Chinese but it was still disgustingly true. When it finished Russia remained fixed to the spot watching the blank monitor. Then he suddenly smiled making Iceland and England jump.

"Cake time da?"

"I'm not so sure..."

"I don't really feel like cake anymore... or eating..."

So since no one wanted to eat the cake they just watched another movie (Iceland insisted on being the one to choose) and played a repeat of yesterday's pass-out episode.

* * *

><p>First Iceland woke up and checked some emails followed by England and then Russia. Russia, still disappointed that they hadn't touched the cake yesterday, decided to make something new. So they were once again in the kitchen this time making cookies. As England stirred the rough batter Iceland measured out the exact amount and Russia poured it in slowly. Then it came time to put the vodka in.<p>

"Russia..."

*silence*

"Russia I think that's enough..."

*more silence*

"RUSSIA THAT'S TOO MUCH!"

"Silly Snowland there is never too much vodka~"

Iceland snatched the bottle from his hands and placed it on the counter and shoved a bag of flour at Russia to distract him. Once the dough was ready they formed it into crosses, stars, and... was that a bunny? They put the cookies in and made the glaze and by the time that was done the cookies were ready.

Snacks in hand the three nations went back to the game room and pulled out the laptop again but this time they decided to take some quizzes. For a while they just messed around until they found the Hetalia quizzes (yes, they were aware that there was an anime about them). First they just tried personality quizzes and quizzes about what the other countries think about you but then somehow they got to a quiz called Hetalia Seven Minutes in Heaven Nordic edition.

The first to take it was Iceland and when he saw his result was Sweden his jaw dropped and his head came shortly after. Second was Russia and when the three read the results for Denmark, Iceland and England both put a hand on his shoulders and apologized. Last was England who got Iceland and the two just looked at each other and said no before deleting the page without looking.

Thoroughly disturbed and with Iceland in a major identity crisis (the personality quizzes showed him as either Norway or Japan) they decided to split up and Iceland and England went home. Only when they got to their houses did they discover they had entered into an alliance with Russia as the head.

_And that's what happens when you spend the weekend with people you don't know that well and one of them is Russia._

* * *

><p><strong>Story for toxicdecember and oriannavadelle on DA. Might make another (with America,Spain,Prussia,England,Germany) if this one's good. ~Nami<strong>


End file.
